Cautiously optimistic

I have now brought you all up to speed to this past week.  I got the results of the colonoscopy.  In one section of one biopsy, there was evidence of low grade dysplasia, aka pre cancerous cells. Just fabulous. My GI told me not to be worried about it, but who doesn’t get freaked out when the word cancer enters their health world.  Worst case, she feels is that I may have to have more colonoscopies more often than the every 3 years I have now. Her next step was to talk to my GI in Boston and have his folks read the results for a second opinion….still waiting for the results as of today.

And then, I get a call from my pulmonologist to schedule a follow up chest xray. Had the chest xray Tuesday, and while it doesn’t show any more pneumonia (WOO HOO!!!), the radiologist saw something ‘hazy’ in it.  He reviewed previous Chest Xrays as well as the previous CT scan and asked my pulmonologist what was being done about the haze, had a follow up test been done. My pulmonologists response, no one told us about the haze, it’s not written in the findings that I received. So, next step, the GI and pulmonologist are going to review all my past Ct tests (had a bunch in Boston) to see if something shows up that would mirror what the ‘haze’ was to rule it out. Again, the word cancer pops up in my head, especially when they tell me the ‘haze’ is near my pancreas and adrenal gland.  Still waiting for the results as of today nervously wringing my hands, and of course hoping for the best, but fearing the worst.

So, as you can see, it’s a wait and see game.  And yes, I still have the joint pain.  But, I can start the Humira tonight and hopefully we will see improvement on the joint pain…albeit not for a few months. Humira works slowly and so I have to wait. 

A lot of waiting…and waiting…

So while I’m waiting for results that may change my life forever (either good or bad), I’m finally getting a handle on my emotional well being. During this long arduous and painful process (we’re going on 5 months !!!) I was constantly crying, constantly seeing my moods go up and down and just feeling like I couldn’t take one more minute.  This past week I’ve started seeing an acupuncturist again, signed up at the local Y so I can go to swimming classes, and found a yoga place that does classes by donation.  The yoga place also does meditation classes, and I feel that this will help give me tools to get outside myself so I can better deal with the pain on a daily basis. I am still working with the same therapist as well. She makes me laugh, cry and feel better all at the same time.  And the holidays are coming up. I know it’ll be a great time with friends and family, and that extra emotional boost hopefully will also help.  I know that I’m weighing heavily on this, and the Humira working to heal my emotional and physical health, but what else do I have???